I share quite a lot about myself on this blog but there are a few things I have a tendency to keep to myself. In fact I don’t just tend to keep these ideas away from my blog but they aren’t things I have shared with many people in the real life world either. There are probably a handful of people who actually know what my passion projects would be and what I’d really be doing with my life if I had the bottle and the pennies to back it up.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous to write a post before. This is a really weird feeling. I guess once I tell people about my passion projects they’re out there in the world. They’re not just mine, in my ideal world head anymore and that’s a bit scary. How silly? I think this feeling is the same as when I won’t tell people when I have interviews or tests of any description. If they don’t know about it and I fail it doesn’t really matter because I don’t have to tell people.
I think mostly I’m scared of judgement. Like if I tell you what I wish I was doing with my life you’d laugh and tell me I was being stupid. Like my dreams are ridiculous and I need to get a grip. I think that’s the point, that they’re dreams. They’ve never really made it to the ambitions stage because that would mean I have to do something towards trying to achieve it. Although, I sort of have with one of them. I’m not trying to be mysterious I’m genuinely just building up the confidence to tell you exactly what my passion projects would be, if they ever made it to the project stage. I bloody love a project but something is holding me back from taking the leap and making my dreams into passion projects.
OK, deep breath, here goes nothing. If I could be doing anything with my life I would want to be a wedding planner and/or have my own tea shop. Daft, I know but these are the things my dreams are built on.
Wedding planning has been a dream for quite some time. Probably since I was a teenager and made scrapbooks out of wedding magazines of all the pretty prettiness. Since I’ve been planning my own wedding I’ve thought about it more, obviously. On and off for years I’ve looked up various courses and classes and I’ve never been able to justify the cost in my head for some reason or another. I did complete an online course a few months ago but I don’t think it was worth the paper I initially wrote down the web address on. I do have a certificate to prove that I did it though. Even if it does look like it was something I created on Word when I was first let loose on a PC all those many years ago. I’ve drip fed the wedding planner version of me out in conversations over the years and while I’ve been wrapped up in that world I’ve been throwing the idea around (mostly in a jokey fashion) that I could plan their wedding for them to other engaged couples I know.
My second passion project of having my own tea shop is a bigger secret though. I think, because I can joke about the other one due to my current situation it takes the pressure off. I can always laugh off the idea if it sinks like a lead balloon. However, harbouring the idea of having some sort of physical place that people would come to is way more scary. It would essentially require a much bigger outlay and a more obvious pressure to succeed and that’s why I don’t mention it. Sometimes I sit and daydream what it’ll look like and the array of cakes I’ll bake for it but that’s as far as it gets.
I’d love to be my own boss, especially if I took on one of these passion projects but I’m too scared to take the leap.
What would you do if you could do anything? What would your passion projects be?
Kisses,
You never know unless you try. Sometimes you have to take that leap. I’ve leaped and fallen in the past – I opened and closed a handmade jewellery and vintage shop over a year ago. Everything happens for a reason and there’s always a lesson to be learned. Just keep dreaming until you’re ready then give it a shot. What’s there to lose? 🙂 x
Maybe I’ll take the leap one day. I’m still a bit scared x